Navy,

I won’t sugar coat this because we both know you hate that. I’m leaving and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I can’t say where but rest assured there’s nothing to worry about. You can call it soul searching if you want but I just need to do some thinking. 

I know you’ve noticed some changes in my behavior lately, you notice everything. I’ve been thinking about your family before mom and dad, everything that happened that night, what I did to them, but mostly what I did to you. I put you in a terrible position and for that I’m sorry. I’m going to miss you while I’m gone but when I get back I’ll be the brother you deserve. I’ll be better than I was then and better than I’ve been since. 

I’ve left a second letter for you along with the ones to mom and dad. Whatever you do, don’t let anyone see this one. It’s only for you, no one else. Let this be the last time I burden you with a secret or bring up our old one. 

Don’t forget, you don’t love anything you’re not willing to sacrifice for, and there’s nothing in this world that I wouldn’t sacrifice for you. Nothing.

Protect yourself while I’m gone. 0824

Your brother, 

Trace

Prologue 

I memorized every word of that letter, engraved them in my brain. I couldn’t have read it any less than a hundred times. The letter was nearly falling apart at the seams by the time I was done with it, but I still set it aflame to be safe. The bright yellow-orange glow of the fire lit the darkness of my bedroom while I watched the whole thing turn to ash on my vanity. 

“It’s only for you.” 

When the flames died, all I could do was stare down at the mound of little gray ashes. It was stupid to want to hold onto it even after I had destroyed it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to sweep the mess of it into the garbage. Instead, the ashes found a home in the locket Trace gave me when our adoption was finalized, when we were family in the world’s eyes too. Brother and sister, not just loyally but legally.

Chapter One

Navy

I’m finally leaving for college, Tofana University, or TU as my brother calls it. When I thought about this day years ago it looked nothing like this. Back then, I’d imagined my brother spewing advice and making up rules I wouldn’t likely follow. Now I stand alone in his room, my only advice coming from the 90’s hip hop posters lining the walls. Tupac Shakur tells me only God can judge me in one and to trust nobody in another. 50 Cent says to get rich or die trying. Thankfully money hasn’t been an issue since we found our parents, now we have more than enough of it. In all honesty I have nearly everything I’ve  ever wanted and I know exactly who I have to thank for that. The person that was there, on my side before I even knew I needed someone. The one that dirtied his hands saving my life. The one whose presence is painfully missing from this day. I think back to that letter he left in my room all those months ago, like I have a thousand times since first reading it. There's something wrong. Trace has never brought up that night before, not once. But he made sure to mention it in a letter he explicitly said to keep to myself. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize my brother’s disappearance goes deeper than some crap about soul searching, regret, and overdue thinking. It only takes someone that truly knows him, and that someone is me. My brother put everything on the line for me that night including his own life, and he showed me exactly how love and sacrifice go hand in hand. Now it’s my turn to return the favor, and I won’t let him down. Blood determines your relatives, but it’s love and loyalty that makes a family and my family starts with Trace.

I move to leave my brother’s room, ready to finally get on the road towards where I’m sure everything started, but as soon as my skin connects with the ice cold surface of the brass door knob I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something. I leave my suitcases just outside the threshold as I go back in the room for just one more thing. Trace’s safe is in the back of his closet, hidden behind a mountain of shoe boxes. 0-8-2-4 I twist and turn the dial left and right until I get to the last number and hear the tell tale click of the lock opening. I cast a single look over my shoulder, despite knowing I’m alone up here while my parents wait for me downstairs. When I confirm that the room is in fact still empty with the only exception being me, I pick up the gun, feeling the familiar weight of it in my hand. I’m not afraid of its weight and power like I was years ago. I make sure the safety is on before placing the weapon in my purse with a round of extra bullets to accompany it. Now I’m officially ready to head to TU and find out exactly what the hell happened to my brother there that took him away from me.

☆☆☆

My father grunts loudly as he lifts up my suitcase to pack it into the trunk of my car along with my other one. He sends a pointed look to me while he closes the trunk. “What did you pack in that one, bricks?”

“Nope no bricks, that one was dedicated to my shoes and make up.” I say, knowing he’d be much more interested in what I have packed away in my handbag.

“You’re going off to college sweetie, not to a fashion show.”

“Easy for you to say, you wear the same thing everyday.”

“It’s called a uniform,” he says, gesturing to his black button-up complete with a silver badge reading Police Chief. “And the point is that an entire suitcase of just shoes is ridiculous.”

“Let the girl live Jay.” My mom pipes up from behind me. When I turn around she's beaming. I love my mother’s smile, the way her full lips curve up on both sides has a way of making me feel seen and comforted. Meanwhile my father looks at her like he’s watching her put the stars in the sky just for him. Growing up I thought my biological parents loved each other, they fought and argued non stop but they always stayed together. It wasn’t until I met Jacobi and Adrian that I realized that it wasn’t love that I had grown up with, it was obsession and a toxic possessiveness that my original parents shared. “Are you excited to be going off on your own and leaving your poor parents behind?”

“Yeah right, if I was really trying to leave you two behind I’d be going a lot farther than a two hour drive.” Both of them laugh at me before sharing a conspiring look. In the next second they’re each planting a kiss on either side of my head, the most annoying part about the gesture is the fact that I can’t help but smile at it. I’m supposed to be disgusted by their show of affection because I’m too old for such things from my family, but in all honesty I’m still coming to terms with the fact that they’re really mine. Not only are they really mine but they really love me. Someone might be temporarily missing at the moment but I have an actual family.

“We’re sorry your brother hasn’t made it back yet but I’m sure we all know what he’d have to say.”

“Stay away from any boys we’re all liars” The three of us say in unison, all too familiar with Trace’s sage advice that he insists on peddling every chance he gets. “But seriously Navy, no boys alone in your apartment.” My dad says, giving me his serious face. It’s the same face he sports when he has to hold a press conference about an important case. 

“Good thing I have so many roommates then. I'm sure it’ll be hard to be alone when I live with three other girls.”

“No boys alone in your room either, and no drinking.”

“Oh save your breath honey, you know all these rules are pointless when she’ll be so far away. Navy, just know that we trust you and to always listen to your gut feeling. You know how to stay out of trouble.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence mom.” I say stressing the last word as I give my father a healthy bit of side eye. It’s really too bad that Trace isn’t here, because our father could obviously use the wing man on this one.

“Hey, I have confidence in you, just not everyone else.”

“I know, I’m just teasing you. I’ll be on my best behavior, you have nothing to worry about. If it makes you feel any better, most guys disgust me.” I say hugging my dad, giving him a tight squeeze.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind while you're away. I’m going to miss you sweetie.”

“We both will, but you’ll be back when you all go on break won’t you?”

“Of course I will. Who knows, I might even surprise you one weekend since it’s not that far.”

By the time I drive off I’ve officially promised my mom that I’d video call at least once a week so she can see my face. She also insisted on daily updates via text, although she prefers phone calls because she’s under the impression she’ll miss the sound of my voice. Knowing her she probably isn’t exaggerating at all. The woman is a sentimental sweetheart through and through. 

The sun is low in the sky by the time I make it to the apartment. I don’t even have to look closely at the numbers along the street because all the girls are already outside waiting for my arrival. I park a couple cars down from where I see them on the steps and quickly put the gun in my center console. As soon as I shut the lid on the console I hear three rapid taps on my passenger side window. 

“Ugh Navy, get out of the car already! I want to hug my bestie, it’s been too long.” Alexia says standing right outside the window. Alexia is someone that I talk to nearly every single day; we’ve been inseparable since we met in middle school. Her ebony skin glows against the white of her tank top thanks to her summer in Italy visiting her grandparents. I get out and walk around the car to the side walk where I wrap my arms around my best friend. Over her shoulder I spot Megan and Fallon approaching, Fallon’s ginger hair shines under the streetlights and Megan’s lip gloss shimmers as they get closer and closer. More hugs go around, pleasantries that are actually genuine get shared and I get the details on Megan's killer lip combo before she and Alexia both work together to lift my suitcase out of the trunk. While they’re busy struggling, grunting, and groaning worse than my dad was, I steal the chance to really check in with Fallon.

“Hey, did you get all the information I needed?” I whisper trying to keep my voice from reaching the other girls. I want as few people as possible involved in this, at least until I have a better understanding of exactly what this is. Fallon looks at me like a deer in headlights, her honey brown eyes wide open on display matching that of her golden skin. I raise my eyebrows, willing her to say something. I’ve been counting on her skills to give me something to work with here and if she couldn’t pull through for whatever reason, I’ll have to go back to the drawing board on where to start.

“Yeah I dug up as much as I could find on all of them. You’re going to have a lot to look at. I put it all in a binder for you, I’ll show you when we go up.”

“Thank god, I owe you big time.” Fallon’s smile is soft like the rest of her features but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes. I know she's not entirely comfortable with my plan and part of me feels a bit guilty for roping her into it. I shove that part of myself away. What's done is done and I would never have asked for her help if I didn’t absolutely need it.

☆☆☆

The binder Fallon is handing me can’t have less than a few hundred pages, but when I try to take it she won’t let it go. “Navy, I really don’t think you understand how serious this is. Getting involved with anyone in the societies is a terrible idea.”

“Why? What's so bad about them, other than the fact that they’re the worst kept secret this school has to offer?”

“The point of them is to protect its members from consequences by grouping all their family assets together. It's dangerous to get involved with people who don’t fear consequences, you have no idea what they could do. It’s dangerous Navy, seriously.”

“That’s why I need whatever is in that binder. I need as much information as possible to keep myself safe. I have to know more about them than they know about me. I really want your help, Fallon but I will move forward without it if I have to.” I hate pressuring my friends and usually I wouldn’t but when it comes to my brother there isn’t a line I wouldn’t cross.

“Please don’t make me regret this.” Fallon casts her eyes down as she finally releases the binder, leaving it in my hands. All I give her in return is a slight nod before she leaves my room. Her fears for my safety aren’t anything I haven't already thought about. If these people really do have something to do with my brother's disappearing act then I can only imagine what they’re capable of. From the day I met him Trace has always been my rock, something strong and unyielding to rely on, it wasn’t until that night that he solidified himself as an unmovable mountain in my life. If they got to him there’s truly no telling what could possibly be in store for me. The only difference between me and Fallon is that I’m not willing to let those fears stop me. The societies and their members don’t fear consequences because they work hard to prevent all the ones they can see coming, but if I find out they actually have done something to Trace, I promise I’ll be a consequence they don’t see until it’s far too late.