Sweet Like Candy

I adjust the lollipops sticking out of my bra for the third time tonight as Grayson guides me to sit beside him. I thought the candy was a good way to complete the pinata costume, it was cute in the mirror before I left, but now it’s starting to grate on my nerves. Instead of taking them out I down the second shot of tequila my boyfriend hands me. If the candy is bothering me then I must still be too sober for this shit.

“You two finally joining the real fun?” Michael asks. He directs the question at my boyfriend, who throws his arm over my shoulder.

“Yeah we’ll see how much fun it really is,” Gray says, smiling. I fight not to roll my eyes. Of all party games, Truth or Dare has to be the most childish one. You’d think we were a bunch of highschoolers instead of university seniors, but Gray insisted and here we are.

I tune out most of the game, just waiting for my turn so I can pick truth and get whatever stupid confession over with. I vaguely register two girls trading tops with each other while another guy records them on his phone. 

“Shit this is my song!” a girl dressed as cupid yells from the other side of the room. She’s standing on a table dancing as she uses a gold heart shaped arrow to tap someone’s shoulder. “Get your ass up here with me, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Pull me up then.” Ceylan’s smooth voice is unmistakable even when it’s almost drowned out by the rest of the noise in here. Cupid pulls Ceylan’s arm as she climbs up onto the table and my eyes track her movements. For some reason I can’t pull my eyes away from how her shorts ride up high on her thighs, the silky material slinking against her bronzed skin. She’s dressed as a boxer, her body on full display with the barely there top and shorts. Boxing gloves are slung over her shoulders sitting on top of the open robe she’s wearing. 

Looking away from her I turn my attention to Grayson, threading my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, before my brain starts short circuiting the way it does when I look at Ceylan too long. The last thing I need tonight is to be plagued with thoughts of how smooth her skin might be underneath my fingertips or something equally as ridiculous. I don’t know what it is about Ceylan that makes my brain all foggy sometimes. I don’t even like girls. 

“Aura, truth or dare?” 

“Truth.”

Michael hesitates for a minute trying to think of a good question to ask. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done while drunk?”

Because my own body is against me, my eyes travel back to the table Ceylan is still dancing on despite my best efforts not to look at her. Her hips sway rhythmically to the beat of the music playing as she tosses her thick curly hair out of her face, the blond streak in the front a small break within the sea of darkness. With the question I can’t help but remember that one night I saw her at the club. Me and Gray had been on one of our infamous breaks and when we ended up walking back to campus together I couldn’t stop the question from leaving my lips. Have you ever kissed a girl? The way she looked at me with those infinitely dark eyes, amused and knowing is seared into my memory, as is the way her lips curved around her response. Why, you offering Aura?

“Babe,” Gray prompts, and I realize I’ve been quiet too long.

“Oh um,” I stammer, scrambling for something, anything else to say. “I once tried to convince a bouncer we were long lost cousins so he’d let me skip the line. It was extremely unsuccessful and now he teases me about it every time I go there.”

A few people around the circle laugh and Michael seems satisfied enough. My gaze drifts back to Ceylan who’s now laughing at something cupid said, her head thrown back a wide grin on her face, when Grayson pointedly turns my face towards him. “See something interesting over there?” he asks, his own eyes tracking Ceylan’s movements.

“No.”

“Well it’s your turn to ask someone,” he murmurs against my ear, his breath smelling like beer.

“I don’t feel like it. Why don’t you just take my  turn?”

“Ceylan!” he calls across the room with zero hesitation. I stiffen immediately before forcing my shoulders to relax. I don’t know why he’d call her into the game when there's already a circle full of people he could question, but I don’t care. Why should I? “Truth or dare?”

Ceylan rolls her eyes as she hops down from the table, walking over. “Obviously dare playboy,” she says, her voice like molasses, dark smooth and thick. 

“I dare you to make out with the player you find most attractive. Thirty seconds.”

Now things are starting to make sense. Grayson’s proving a point. I’m no stranger to the history between Ceylan and Gray, no one is. They dated for nearly our entire freshmen year until a very public breakup at a party very similar to this one. Ceylan seemingly hasn’t dated anyone seriously since, making Gray the obvious and equally uncomfortable choice. She wouldn’t have dated him if she wasn’t attracted to him, and if the kiss is her choice as a result of a dare then I can’t get mad at him for it. Not only does Gray get to prove that other women want him and teach me a lesson about where my attention should be, but he also gets to make out with a hot girl in the process. Fucking fantastic.

A kilowatt smile graces Ceylan’s full lips and she starts at the opposite side of the circle, making a show of deciding who she’ll choose. “Hmm, the player I find most attractive,” she muses. She walks around slowly until stopping right in front of Grayson, her dark eyes on him. Leaning down she traces her finger along his jaw, “So who’s timing this kiss?”

“Got thirty seconds on the clock,” Michael says grinning and holding up his phone.

“Start when our lips touch. Not a second before.”

“You got it Cece.”

This is so fucking dumb. I hate truth or dare. I might hate Grayson a little too. Ceylan leans even closer, her lips millimeters away from my boyfriend’s when she suddenly turns her face towards me. I catch the moment Gray’s smile drops just before Ceylan’s all I can see. She pushes her hand into my hair dragging me towards her. There's a second where she hesitates giving me a chance to pull away, but when I make no moves to stop her she pressed our lips together. “Stop gawking and start the fucking timmer,” I hear Gray seeth. 

Ceylan’s lips are so fucking soft, I get the distinct feeling that I could kiss her for hours. She pulls my hair tightly and when I gasp she uses the opportunity to slip her tongue past my lips. I moan at the first caress of her tongue against mine, the wet heat of it dousing my whole body in warmth. What the hell is happening right now? The kiss is consuming, nothing like the gentle or tentative kiss I’d expect from someone who’s never kissed me before. Her mouth is so sure against mine it's as if she choreographed this, like she mapped out exactly how this was going to go and I’m just along for the ride. Her other hand comes up to cup my jaw, thumb stroking against my cheekbone while her tongue does things that make my body feel like a live wire.

I realize I should probably pull away. Should be mortified, not only about the fact that I’m kissing a girl but that she also happens to be my boyfriend’s ex. Not to mention that it’s all happening in a room full of people. But instead my hands find her waist, fingers curling into the silky material of her robe and I kiss her back in a way that I’ll surely have to explain later. I’m so fucking screwed.

“Time,” Michael calls out, and I can hear the barely contained amusement in his voice.

Ceylan pulls back slowly, her lips separating from mine with the softest sound. Her eyes are dark and mischievous when they meet mine.

“Sweet, Aura,” she says, her voice slightly rougher than before. Her thumb traces my bottom lip once before her hand slips down, plucking a lollipop from my chest. “Just like candy.”

My mouth stays slightly parted, my brain completely short circuited, every nerve in my body firing off in directions I didn’t know existed.

Grayson’s arm is no longer around my shoulders. When I finally pull my eyes from Ceylan and look at him, his jaw is clenched the tightest I’ve ever seen it. 

“What the fuck was that?” he asks, his eyes on his ex.

Unwrapping the candy she took from me, Ceylan shrugs her shoulders completely unbothered by the anger in his tone. “You said to make out with the player I found most attractive. It’s not my problem that you assumed that was going to be you.” She rolls the lollipop over her tongue, the treat already turning it blue before she continues, “don’t tell me you can’t handle your own dare playboy.”

The room erupts in a mixture of unbridled laughter and shocked exclamations. Some people are recording on their phones, the same guy from before and a couple others. This is going to be all over social media by tomorrow.

Maybe I should say something. Defend Gray or make a joke to distract from how red his face is getting. “I need another drink,” I hear myself say instead.

Vodka burns a trail down my throat as I try to drink away the last few minutes of my life. I reach for a can of diet coke to get rid of the foul taste in my mouth when hands connect with my waist and someone turns me around. 

“You alright baby?” Gray asks quietly. I blink in surprise at his question. I just knew to expect an argument about what just happened but instead he seems genuinely concerned, or at least curious. 

“Yeah,” I answer cautiously. “Just a little surprised. I wasn’t expecting… that.”

“Yeah well that makes two of us.” There's a bitter edge to his words but I’m not sure if it’s directed at me or not. 

“Are you upset with me? Because you have to know I had no idea she was going to do that. I didn’t even want her to kiss me–”

“But you liked it,” he cuts me off. “Didn’t you?”

I hesitate, searching for the right words to defuse the tension I can already feel building. Unable to meet his eyes I train my gaze on his chest and toy with the ‘birthday boy’ pin that basically makes up his entire costume. “I like kissing you.”

“Of course, Aura,” Gray whispers into my ear, his breath fanning over me. “But you liked kissing her too.” I start shaking my head but he promptly stops me when he grabs my jaw roughly. “It’s okay baby. Ceylan is a good kisser, that much I remember.” His words send a wave of discomfort snaking down my spine and goosebumps rise on my skin in its wake. “I’ll admit I was upset at first but now that most of the surprise has worn off, it was pretty hot.”

“Grayson, what are you saying? You sound ridiculous.”

“Do I? Because I wouldn’t mind if you let her fuck you. As long as I got to watch. Just imagine it?”

This is an idea he’s planted in my mind. One I would have never thought of on my own. But now that it’s there I can’t get the image out. I can’t shake it away. Ceylan’s slim body rocking over me. How she might grind herself between my legs, bringing us both to– 

My skin heats to the point of discomfort. Maybe it's just the vodka finally kicking in. “I wouldn’t like that. It’s not something I’m into. The kiss was more than enough.” I insist, finally looking up at him.

Grayson’s face flashes with annoyance before he smiles kindly. “Okay, if you say so. I just want you to know I would understand. I would support you if you wanted to explore more together.” 

I nod in understanding, keeping the fact that the part of his proposal I really wasn’t into was the one where he got to watch to myself. “Do you mind if I step outside for a second? I just want to get some air. Alone.” 

“Of course not. Take your time.” His words say one thing while his tone says something completely different but I don’t attempt to decipher what any of it means right now because he’s still stepping out of my way.

The cool night air hits my face like a slap against my heated skin as I push through the back door. What the hell is happening tonight? My blood feels like it’s vibrating within my veins and I can still taste the faint cherry flavor or Ceylan’s lip gloss in my mouth. Shouldn’t the alcohol have burned that away already? Why is it still here?

“Your boyfriend is a real dick. You do know that, right?”

My heart nearly falls to my feet as I whip around to face the last person I need to be seeing right now. “What the fuck are you doing out here in the dark? You scared the shit out of me, Ceylan.”

“You do realize you’re out here in the dark right along with me, correct? Maybe we’re out here for the same thing.” She’s sitting up on the railing of the porch, speaking in between licks of the lollipop.

“Why would you kiss me?” The question comes tumbling out of my mouth before I think better of it.

“Because you’re hot, and I wanted to.” Her words settle somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach. “And more importantly because you wanted me to.”

“I’m not gay.”

“I didn’t say you were,” she says, almost gently. “That doesn’t mean you’re not curious.”

“I’m not. There's nothing to be curious about. I like boys and I have a boyfriend and that’s it.”

“Then why did you kiss me back?”

“Because you’re a good kisser,” I say, clinging onto Grayson’s words. “My eyes were closed, you could have been anyone.”

“Fair enough, but that doesn’t explain why you spent half the party watching me before that.”

My breath catches. “I wasn’t–”

“You were.” Reaching forwards she wraps her hand around my arm and pulls me closer. “You’ve been looking at me for months, Aura. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“You’re delusional,” I spit, pulling my arm out of her hold.

“Mhmm, really?” she asks, tracing her tongue around the candy. “Tell me more. If I’m so delusional then why are you still out here with me?”

My mouth falls open to speak but as my eyes track the way she sucks the candy back into her mouth I lose my train of thought. The blue is staining her lips now too, making them look bruised. What flavor is blue, I wonder. It could be blue raspberry or cotton candy. I'm not sure if blueberry lollipops exist.

“Oh is this why you’re still out here?” Her voice has a teasing quality to it that should annoy me enough to start thinking clearly again but then she’s holding the candy right in front of my own parted lips. “Did you want it back?” My eyes fall closed as she rubs the sticky candy along my bottom lip and my body, with a mind of its own, opens my mouth wider allowing her to slip the lollipop inside. 

Blue fucking raspberry.